Joy to the world! Peace on earth! Happy holidays! Or is it? This is one of the most stressful times of the year for many. Family time, travel, gifts to buy, meals to prepare, etc. We want this time of the year to be merry and bright for our family and friends. Feeling overwhelmed is an under-statement.
Kick off December by giving yourself the gift of a wholistic approach to survive the holiday season.
Day 7 of the 12 Days of Christmas
Holiday Survival Tip #7: Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men!
Keeping the Peace and Avoiding Holiday Feuds with Family and Friends:
It's the holiday season where we hope for joy and peace on earth! It is an opportunity and time to enjoy good times and and create happy memories. The reality is that for many this isn't likely. This time of the year can be stressful and often times that stress is due to our own family.
I think that almost every family has that one relative who is exceptional at creating discord during the holidays. The cast of characters may include the family member who is overly nosy or the who always drinks way too much. Being exposed to these type of individuals can lead to feelings of apprehension, defensiveness, and discomfort. While you cannot change the behaviors of any family member or friend, you do not have to tolerate the crazy.
In today's tip, I am simply going to help you understand who you are dealing with when it comes to your family members. I think it's fair to call them "family instigators", don't you? Trust me, every family has them. Fortunately, Dr. Daniel Amen has created insight into who these instigators are and how they inflict their drama.
FAMILY CONFLICT INSTIGATORS:
1. The Meddler
It's not truly a family gathering without "the gossiper". This individual creates pain and suffering with their critical and negative comments. Oh! And then there's the offensive "loudmouth"! Nothing is off limits with this family member; who appears to delight in letting everybody know they realize how much weight you've gained since the last holiday gathering.
2. The Liquidator
It's not unusual for there to be alcohol at family celebrations or during the holiday festivities. However, every family has that one family member who tends to go over board at the bar. Alcohol impacts everybody differently; making some people happy, others moody and even mean. Alcohol is known to lower inhibitions which can lead to trouble. For the family member who just loves creating chaos, alcohol can act as an accelerant for bad behaviors.
3. The Antagonizer
Every family has that one family member who loves to argue! It seems like they actually seek conflict! This is likely an individual who has aggressive tendencies that drives them to be combative. This family member enjoys luring others into a debate. Likely, this person has low energy in their frontal brain and they need the stimulation to make them feel better. So remember, when this family member seeks you out in the attempt to lure you into a debate, it's not about you. Sadly, their brain is unhealthy and doesn't work well.
During this holiday season, don’t let your anger become their medication. Your anger and frustration can be addictive to these kind of family members.
Stay tuned to learn some practical ways to prevent family strife this holiday season.
Rowe, Keith. “How to Avoid Family Drama During the Holidays.” BrainMD, 25 Nov. 2020, https://brainmd.com/blog/how-to-avoid-family-drama-during-the-holidays/